I'm going to Holland for a week! It's this European exchange thing where I go to Holland and a person from Holland comes to stay with us for a week. And the best part is I get to go for free! I'm still not completely sure why. It's sometime in either March or May, I can't remember which. I think May. So I'm excited for it!

I also am helping the English teacher with a play that she wants to put on with the students with Hamlet. I don't know how much fun it will be, but we'll see. I don't do anything in my class anyway so it will be a nice change to actually be doing something. 

We don't have internet at my house for a few days because I think they forgot to pay the bill or something. It makes me realize how heavy I actually rely on the internet. Not so much that I can't survive without it, but it's definitely a nice thing to have. 

I've applied to SUNY Brockport and SUNY Plattsburgh to go to in the fall when I come back. Now I'm in the process of applying for financial aid. Not so much fun. This whole thing would be much easier if I were back in the US. But I'll get it all done one way or another. 

Christmas and little more

I am so sorry to everyone who has been checking this blog and hasn't seen any updates. I feel like I have so much to say that I don't know how to write it all down. I've been here for about 3 and a half months now and I cannot believe Christmas has already come and gone. I've already learned so much about myself and I feel so thankful to have had this opportunity.

It hasn't been easy, at all. It's so much harder than I anticipated. Italians don't really believe in privacy, or at least they don't practice it very often, haha. They like to leave the bathroom door open when they are using the bathroom or whenever someone is on the computer everyone has to watch what they are doing. I'm used to doing everything pretty much alone, but here everybody is with everybody - all the time! It's nice sometimes but at the same time I'm someone who needs their down time. But nobody has down time here.

I'm getting to know my family really well. However, it's been slightly difficult because the way of communication here is so different. Everything is yelling. Everything. The way they talk is just very loud and it can become a lot at times. My host mom seems to be angry all the time, not with me, but with her kids. I don't think she's angry though, just tired. She works and she takes care of the house and does housework usually all by herself so I would think she just gets exhausted. But it's been hard to adjust to it.
I get along well with my host siblings. They are all kind of crazy, and I can be pretty crazy at times too so I think we're a good fit!

School at this point is terribly boring! I still am not participating in any of the courses but I'm gradually starting to get books. I still don't understand a lot though so I don't know when I'll actually start doing all the work. Lucky for me I don't need to pass any of my classes, haha.

Christmas in Italy. So very different from that in America. It's actually not really that different from any other family gathering except that Santa comes. Everyone in the family came to the grandma's house at about 9pm to eat dinner. We had a total of 7 courses: appetizer of olives, cheese and cold cuts, first course was lasagna, then we had meat, then salad, then nuts, then fruit, then dessert. And we had two rounds of dessert because one of the little girl's birthday was also on Christmas so we had cake. After dinner they put music on and everybody starting dancing (they even had to take a table out!) Then Santa Clause came. They don't put presents under the tree here, but Santa comes Christmas Eve at midnight to hand them out to everyone from his sack. One of the Aunts in the family dresses up and comes into the room ringing a bell and dancing. All of the little kids are very excited up to this point and then they become shy and even scared of Santa. So some of them refused to go to him to get their presents. But then Santa leaves and they are all running around screaming again! We left grandma's at about 2am.


I don't have school for over 2 weeks because they start celebrating the 24 and don't stop until January 6 because that is when Befana comes (the witch) who brings with her coal or candy for the kids depending on if they were good or bad. This is also the day they take down all of their decorations. Then it's back to school the next day :(

Today is the first day of the year and we ate so much food! We had these noodle things rolled up with meat in both a tomato sauce and then others in a cream sauce. Then we had lasagna and after that was meat with a potato puré (something like mashed potatoes but a little runnier and more butter). I am so stuffed right now, but everything was sooo yummy! Nothing like great food to bring in the new year!

Looking Back

"I have stumbled upon the scary realizations that independence brings. No longer can I depend on others to get me through things and no longer can I keep blaming others for the way my life has gone. I have always done that: blamed others for the things that have happened in my life. But now that I am completely on my own and am making my own decisions, I have to take responsibility for those decisions. And that is one of the scariest things I have ever faced. How do I know what to do in my life? How do I decide where I want my life to go? I have no idea what I want to be or how I want to live, but I'm going to have to decide that pretty quickly.
One of the things I'm dreading most about this trip is being around all of these teenagers. I know that probably sounds ridiculous, but I feel like I've just never fit in anywhere, especially with kids my own age. I never share the same interests or like the same things from music to sports. It probably sounds conceited, but I have always thought that I was more mature than people my own age. I have always gotten along better with people older than me. When I first thought about this trip, all I was thinking was that it was a way to get out of Lowville, NY. I was thinking that I wouldn't have to go to another year of high school here. Somehow I thought that teens in other countries would be more mature and not so... American. I think it's this idea that everything foreign is new and exciting, and therefore better. But I don't think that's true. I think it's the same as anywhere else and we all just want there to be a perfect place so we imagine one somewhere that we have never been. I think that school will be just the same in Italy as it is here. I do think though that there will be more respect for teachers and they do have a lot better of a work ethic. I am just so worried about fitting in. I hate being around teenagers because I feel so awkward and out of place. I never know what to say. I think it's because I want to fit in so badly that I have become so self-conscious that I never say anything. I have to remind myself to just be myself. I think that's a gamble that everyone takes in life. By being yourself you are allowing the other people to decide if they want to like you or not. It's their problem if they don't. It doesn't mean that there is something wrong with you, it just means that people are different. Not everybody can get along."

I wrote this a wile ago before leaving and have rediscovered it. It's funny reading something that you've written a long time ago about the expectations of things to come. Most of what I predicted is true. I still don't really fit in with kids my own age. Teens here are just as "immature", even more so than in America it seems but maybe they are really just different. I don't know. It's just a different way of life. There's things here in Italy that are better for me in America but there are also things that are worse. But I think it would be like that anywhere you go. I fit in well with my family, for the most part. I spend most of my time around them and have learned to appreciate each one of them for who they are. I've learned that not everything is perfect and sometimes you just have to make things work. There's a point where you need to accept that this is how things are and make them work for you. You can't sit and complain all the time and wait for something to happen. You just have to live in what is happening. I still don't know what I want to do when I come back, but I still have about 6 months to figure it out. I think  it will probably be college, but that just sounds so boring. However, it's the most logical. I don't want to go to college later, I'm kind of thinking just get it over with, haha.

Everything

So, I finally have some time to actually sit down and write. I've been so busy with getting to know my family and meeting new people that I haven't had any time to myself. But now, it's Sunday and Sunday's here are very laid back and free.

I'll start of with my travels. I left Wednesday, September 8 to fly to New York City for a one day orientation. The flight went well, no complications at all. The orientation was held at a hotel and we were not allowed to leave the hotel at all during our stay. There were 59 students leaving for Italy from the US, which was the most students from one country to Italy. We all left September 9 at around 8pm for Zurich Switzerland - a 7 hour flight. We then had about a 1.5 hour flight to Rome, where we had another orientation, this time for 2 days. Then everyone left on their separate ways to go to their host family's. I left on a bus with four other girls and we had a six hour bus ride to Cerignola. Our host families met us at the bus stop and everyone was so excited, not to mention extremely exhausted.

There is another American girl, Camden, who is living by me, and is staying with my host mother's sister. I think we get along well, but are not talking as much as we are making our own friends in Italy and are not spending as much time together. This is probably a good thing because we really need to learn Italian and when we are together we only speak English.

School has been extremely different. I don't think I like it. First of all, nobody in my class speaks English so nobody has really talked to me or shown any interest in me, so it's been hard to make friends in school. My Italian is getting better day, but I still don't know enough to carry on a conversation. So hopefully later I will be able to talk to my classmates more. A lot of the work is done by the students. The teachers are the ones who change rooms, not the students. So I am with the same group of people all day. School starts at 8 and ends at 2 and everyone comes home for lunch. The teachers all wear jeans and much more informal than in America. The students all stand up when the teacher enters the room.

However, I've made some friends outside of school. We have been hanging out together a lot and I really enjoy being around them. Everyone I talk to is so fascinated by America and it's everyone's dream to go America. The girls I am with speak a little English so when I am with them, I am learning Italian better and they are learning a little more English.

I really like my host family a lot. There are so many things that are different though from my family and this one, and just America and Italy in general. I think I am adjusting well though. The only thing that I really miss from home is solitude. There is absolutely no privacy here, or quiet. It's hard to get used to. I think I am going to have a constant head ache for a month, haha. Everyone is very nice though, and understanding.

Italian television is horrible! They only get maybe 10-15 channels and the acting and quality is just so bad. I don't know how to describe it. It's a good thing I'm not a big TV watcher, haha.

The food is good. It's not as wonderful as I though it would be though. Everything is either super salty or super sweet. And they eat a lot! breakfast is something small and sweet: coffee, cookies and/or a sweet cereal. The refrigeration here is not good. Well, let me rephrase that. The refrigeration here is basically non-existent. The milk is lukewarm, so I don't use the milk, it makes me feel sick. I am dying for a glass of cold water. The water here is all bottled and a lot of it is carbonated. And since the refrigerators aren't very cold, the water is also lukewarm. They don't drink a lot here. Just when eating and very little at that. I haven't had any wine yet - arg! I really want to try it here. I ate horse. It wasn't very good. It didn't taste like anything I'd ever had before and I don't think I ever want it again. Lunch is at around 2, and is the biggest meal of the day. It starts out with a dish of a sort of pasta then there is meat, then fruit last. It's a lot of food. But then dinner isn't until 10-11 at night. And it is usually a type of meat and bread and cheese or something. And fruit. Always fruit, haha. The coffee is super yummy. It's extremely dark which I love! The TV is on all the time. During meals and after too. I don't like that.

I think this is everything. This is so much to take in at one time. I am tired all the time because my brain is trying to take in all this new information all the time and the language barrier is hard. I have to concentrate very hard to try to understand what people are saying, but it's coming along.

The Differences

So, here are some of the differences between Italians and America:

1. Do not shower often. But I can if I want to. They say I am "libero" in their home, free. They say their home is my home.

2. Coffee very strong (mmmmm!)

3. Make wierd noises. Like, they imitate car horns and just are making strange noises all the time. Its funny.

4. Every single person wears skinny jeans or pants. Literally, I have seen only 3 or 4 people not wearing skinny pants whether they look good or not. Im going to have to get some of those.

5. Breakfast is something sweet like chocolate filled croissant or berry filled.

6. Dinner is at like 9 or 10 at night.

7. Fruit is after dinner and lunch every time.

8. They eat A LOT!!!

9. No time is spent in the bedroom except to sleep.

10. They drive like crazy people! Its NYC multiplied by 5.

11. All the shoes are flats (converse) or wedge sandals. NO FLIP FLOPS

12. Shoes are worn in the house all the time. Its weird not to

13. The water is all bottled

14. They are all LOUD!

15. When on the computer, everyone watches what you are doing. And with everything else. Not a lot of privacy.

16. Do not walk around with wet hair. 

17. Talk all the time.

18. Toilets flush by button or pull a string thing.

19. They do not wear seat belts.

20. They wear clothes repeatedly. They have all worn the same thing for 3 days in a row - wow!

21. No driers. Air dry everything. 

22. There is a TV in every room and is always on. Watch during dinner and before bed. Everyone is watching Miss Italia right now. Its really lame. Even worse than Miss America if you can imagine. But its funny.

23. Always wear a jacket when going outside. 

24. There is no garbage in the bathroom or rooms. That I can see anyway. There is only one in the kitchen.

25. Plan something then never do it. 

26. Go for a walk around the city at night a lot. Big part of life for teenagers since they cant drive till 18. But they can drive a moped and many do.

27. Girls hold hands or link arms when walking. 

28. No clocks in the rooms. Only the Kitchen.

29. The ice cream is soooo much better.

There is probably more but I can think of them right now.

Last leg

Well, I did it. I made it. I got my visa and I have everything I need to go.
The trip to NYC and the consulate was an interesting one. I had been stressing out over this visa process and appointment for about a month now, and when the morning came to go to NYC, I had a large pimple on the side of my cheek to prove it. But everything worked out, despite a couple of bumps during my appointment. First of all the woman said that I did not have enough documents for my visa. I started to get a little worried but then remembered that I had forgotten to give her some, phew! Then a little while later, she said my visa could not be processed because I had only provided her with a one way ticket, and because I'm a minor, I need a round trip ticket. However, when I was gathering all my documents weeks before, AFS told me that they had not booked the return ticket yet. I told the woman this, but she made it very clear that my visa would not be processed or accepted without it. So, I felt like there was nothing I could do and my face and chest became extremely red and were burning up because I felt like all of my dreams were being crushed all because of a ticket. Then, thankfully my dad thought to call my visa coordinator, Katherine, who works for AFS and tell her of our situation. Katherine was very understanding and said that someone in San Francisco had the same exact thing happen to them. So she faxed over a round trip itinerary and we were all set to go. Big sigh of relief. Now, since Katherine lives in New York City, she is going to pick up my visa for me so that I don't have to go back to pick it up myself. She will bring it to the NYC airport where everyone from the US going to Italy meets for a mini orientation and we all go to Italy together from there.
I can not express how happy I am that the visa is all taken care of. Now all I have left to worry about is fitting my life for 10 months into 44lbs (plus a carry-on). And trust me, that will probably be a breeze compared to everything else I've had to do, haha. Only 10 more days and I'm on my way. I still cannot believe this is happening.

Stove for Sale! Stove for Sale!

Hello all!

Things are going well. I just finished cleaning up and old 1920's Kalamazoo stove that I'm trying to sell. It's a little rusty and has a few dings in it, but overall it looks pretty good compared to when I first got it. We weren't able to try a fire in it because we don't have the right kind of pipe (it needs and oval attachment) so I'm not too sure if it works well or not. So if any of you are interested, just let me know!

I just recently had a chicken BBQ. I'm afraid it didn't go as well as hoped. At my last BBQ I made about $630 but at this one only about $430. So that will be the last of the BBQ's. I have one more bake sale to do August 14th at Wal-Mart and then I think that will be all for the fundraising, or at least until I sell that stove (fingers crossed).

It looks like I finally made it. Summer school is already half over with only two more weeks to go. It's been pretty easy so far, but government is a pain. I have to do all these things that are just annoying like attend two town meetings (and take notes, get signatures, ask questions, and do a write up for each one), three hours of community service, a big policy paper and I could go on and on. But who am I to complain? At least I don't have to take it for 20 weeks instead - hallelujah.

I have all my visa documents ready, of which I can do ahead of time anyway. I have to wait for AFS to send me everything else that I need and it's killing me. I just want to have everything now, apply for my visa, and be done with it. But soon enough, soon enough. There's only 36 more days until I leave. I still can't believe this is happening.

Bake sales... as promised!

I just had a bake sale this past Saturday (my next one is July 17 at Walmart in Lowville) and made almost $230! Most of my bake sales have been about $210 or more and I think that's a good chunk of money.

It always makes me feel so good when I have fundraisers because I get to see all of the wonderful people there are out in the world. I mean, I never realized how generous people are. Many have just given me money and don't take anything I'm selling just because they want me to go and have adventures. I feel so blessed to have so many people supporting me, even strangers. They just want me to experience life and I feel like there are no words to thank them for their generosity.

Some people have interesting stories to tell me of their endeavors in Italy and some just offer advice, like not to allow Italian boys to sweet talk me or that I have to laugh at my mistakes while I'm over there, because Lord knows, I will be making plenty! One comical man flat out told me what I was going to be doing over there - "getting drunk". He could not believe that I was going over to study and learn, but simply said I was just going over to get drunk. I laughed about that for awhile.

Summer school starts in exactly a week - ugh. But I think of it as just six weeks until I am completely finished with high school. Of course there is the school in Italy, but every school is different so I'm hoping school there will be a completely new experience.

I've been labeling things around the house in Italian - mom doesn't like that too much, haha. I have to learn somehow though! I literally can not fall asleep at night because I'm thinking about all the Italian I have to learn. I just have to tell myself "Olivia, there is no way you are going to learn all Italian in 2 months, just sleep". Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't - ah, well.

Just the Beginning

Wishing. Wondering. Hoping. I wonder how long it takes for a person to find out who they truly are. I've just had my seventeenth birthday; seventeen years I have been on this earth and it feels like I just got here. There is so much to explore and know and I feel as though I have not done anything yet. I need to get away from the small town I live in; to broaden my perspective and find out where I fit on this earth.

So I'm going to Italy - a logical resolution to my problem, no? Heh. Well, I suppose I could have chosen to do something easier, but I figured if I was going to do something that I might as well do it full force.

It had never occurred to me before last summer that I could be a foreign exchange student. My sisters and I were simply talking and Keturah, my oldest sister, was telling us about a foreign exchange student at Lowville and how it would be such a spectacular experience to go to another country for a year. I agreed and then my sisters kind of looked at me and said "You know Olivia, you could do it". 

So here I am, embarking on a journey that will last a lifetime. Going to Italy to live for 10 months with a family I know nothing about. Living in a country with a language that I have no idea how to speak. Immersing myself in a completely new culture with completely new people. Some may say I'm crazy - that I'm so brave to do something so extravagant. But really I'm not. I am so scared that I will not fit in or pick up on the language or make friends. I do not do well in social situations so I guess I am a little crazy to go somewhere where I will have to make myself talk.

I think more than anything I am going to establish at least a small part of who I am. Going somewhere where I need to come out of my shell and make myself known to the world is going to help me grow so much and be able to see what I'm made of. I'm interested to see what I can do, but most of all I'm scared to see what I am not. I need to find the courage to do things that I would not normally do; to be more self-confident. I'm not scared to change... I don't think. I just hope I have enough gumption to make myself change. 

My host family has just been picked and I am going to a science school called Instituto Scolastico Righi (Unfortunately I cannot pick the school I go to, otherwise I would definitely not be going to a science school - heh) but they have other courses like art and art history, so those may be interesting. I will be living in Cerignola, Italy which is in Southern Italy. My family consists of Michele and Sabina (the parents), Francesco (17 year old host brother), MariaPia (13 year old host sister), and Rita (11 year old host sister). The parents are both hairdressers and look like they will be a lot of fun. I've been talking with Francesco a little bit because he is the only one that knows English - eek! He's actually in Holland right now with AFS but he will be home at the end of July and he said he will give his family a lesson in English before I get there. But I'm still very eager to learn Italian, which is starting to become stressful - haha.

However, the stress isn't just with the language. There is so much I have had to do and still have to do to make this dream become reality. I had to fill out an extremely lengthy application for AFS (the exchange program I'm going with) which involved doctors notes, lots of forms to sign, letters from school, and so much more. After I finished that and found out that I was accepted, I began fundraising. The program cost $11,750. I had received a total of $4,900 from scholarships so had to raise about $7,000 to cover my tuition. Plus, I need extra money for everyday expenses while I am in Italy (AFS recommends $100 - $300 per month). So, I wanted to raise about $9,000 in 9 months. A remarkable sum, I know. And quite honestly, I didn't know if I could do it. I just knew I was going to be having a lot of bake sales, heh.

Thanks to the devotion of my parents, I made it. I have almost all the money I need, with only about $3,000 left to raise, which I know I can manage.

Now, I'm in the process of applying for my student visa - an endeavor that I can guarantee you will never want to do. There are so many documents I need and so many copies and forms that I can only hope I have the right ones and the right amount of each. To make things even more delightful, I have to travel to New York City to apply for my visa and both of my parents need to be present because I am a minor. Ugh. But it has to be done, so there’s nothing I can do about it. If I’ve made it this far, then I know I can cope with obtaining a visa.

This summer I’m going to summer school at Carthage so that I can gain enough credits to graduate early. It cost $350 which was a little disappointing but I didn’t want to have to worry about credit transfers and everything from Italy, so summer school here I come! I have to take economics, government, and English 12. I start July 6 and end August 15, I think.

So that’s basically the sum of it all. This is the biggest thing I have ever done in my life and I am so nervous and scared and excited at the same time. I can’t wait to board the plane!