I am so sorry to everyone who has been checking this blog and hasn't seen any updates. I feel like I have so much to say that I don't know how to write it all down. I've been here for about 3 and a half months now and I cannot believe Christmas has already come and gone. I've already learned so much about myself and I feel so thankful to have had this opportunity.
It hasn't been easy, at all. It's so much harder than I anticipated. Italians don't really believe in privacy, or at least they don't practice it very often, haha. They like to leave the bathroom door open when they are using the bathroom or whenever someone is on the computer everyone has to watch what they are doing. I'm used to doing everything pretty much alone, but here everybody is with everybody - all the time! It's nice sometimes but at the same time I'm someone who needs their down time. But nobody has down time here.
I'm getting to know my family really well. However, it's been slightly difficult because the way of communication here is so different. Everything is yelling. Everything. The way they talk is just very loud and it can become a lot at times. My host mom seems to be angry all the time, not with me, but with her kids. I don't think she's angry though, just tired. She works and she takes care of the house and does housework usually all by herself so I would think she just gets exhausted. But it's been hard to adjust to it.
I get along well with my host siblings. They are all kind of crazy, and I can be pretty crazy at times too so I think we're a good fit!
School at this point is terribly boring! I still am not participating in any of the courses but I'm gradually starting to get books. I still don't understand a lot though so I don't know when I'll actually start doing all the work. Lucky for me I don't need to pass any of my classes, haha.
Christmas in Italy. So very different from that in America. It's actually not really that different from any other family gathering except that Santa comes. Everyone in the family came to the grandma's house at about 9pm to eat dinner. We had a total of 7 courses: appetizer of olives, cheese and cold cuts, first course was lasagna, then we had meat, then salad, then nuts, then fruit, then dessert. And we had two rounds of dessert because one of the little girl's birthday was also on Christmas so we had cake. After dinner they put music on and everybody starting dancing (they even had to take a table out!) Then Santa Clause came. They don't put presents under the tree here, but Santa comes Christmas Eve at midnight to hand them out to everyone from his sack. One of the Aunts in the family dresses up and comes into the room ringing a bell and dancing. All of the little kids are very excited up to this point and then they become shy and even scared of Santa. So some of them refused to go to him to get their presents. But then Santa leaves and they are all running around screaming again! We left grandma's at about 2am.
I don't have school for over 2 weeks because they start celebrating the 24 and don't stop until January 6 because that is when Befana comes (the witch) who brings with her coal or candy for the kids depending on if they were good or bad. This is also the day they take down all of their decorations. Then it's back to school the next day :(
Today is the first day of the year and we ate so much food! We had these noodle things rolled up with meat in both a tomato sauce and then others in a cream sauce. Then we had lasagna and after that was meat with a potato puré (something like mashed potatoes but a little runnier and more butter). I am so stuffed right now, but everything was sooo yummy! Nothing like great food to bring in the new year!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Looking Back
"I have stumbled upon the scary realizations that independence brings. No longer can I depend on others to get me through things and no longer can I keep blaming others for the way my life has gone. I have always done that: blamed others for the things that have happened in my life. But now that I am completely on my own and am making my own decisions, I have to take responsibility for those decisions. And that is one of the scariest things I have ever faced. How do I know what to do in my life? How do I decide where I want my life to go? I have no idea what I want to be or how I want to live, but I'm going to have to decide that pretty quickly.
One of the things I'm dreading most about this trip is being around all of these teenagers. I know that probably sounds ridiculous, but I feel like I've just never fit in anywhere, especially with kids my own age. I never share the same interests or like the same things from music to sports. It probably sounds conceited, but I have always thought that I was more mature than people my own age. I have always gotten along better with people older than me. When I first thought about this trip, all I was thinking was that it was a way to get out of Lowville, NY. I was thinking that I wouldn't have to go to another year of high school here. Somehow I thought that teens in other countries would be more mature and not so... American. I think it's this idea that everything foreign is new and exciting, and therefore better. But I don't think that's true. I think it's the same as anywhere else and we all just want there to be a perfect place so we imagine one somewhere that we have never been. I think that school will be just the same in Italy as it is here. I do think though that there will be more respect for teachers and they do have a lot better of a work ethic. I am just so worried about fitting in. I hate being around teenagers because I feel so awkward and out of place. I never know what to say. I think it's because I want to fit in so badly that I have become so self-conscious that I never say anything. I have to remind myself to just be myself. I think that's a gamble that everyone takes in life. By being yourself you are allowing the other people to decide if they want to like you or not. It's their problem if they don't. It doesn't mean that there is something wrong with you, it just means that people are different. Not everybody can get along."
I wrote this a wile ago before leaving and have rediscovered it. It's funny reading something that you've written a long time ago about the expectations of things to come. Most of what I predicted is true. I still don't really fit in with kids my own age. Teens here are just as "immature", even more so than in America it seems but maybe they are really just different. I don't know. It's just a different way of life. There's things here in Italy that are better for me in America but there are also things that are worse. But I think it would be like that anywhere you go. I fit in well with my family, for the most part. I spend most of my time around them and have learned to appreciate each one of them for who they are. I've learned that not everything is perfect and sometimes you just have to make things work. There's a point where you need to accept that this is how things are and make them work for you. You can't sit and complain all the time and wait for something to happen. You just have to live in what is happening. I still don't know what I want to do when I come back, but I still have about 6 months to figure it out. I think it will probably be college, but that just sounds so boring. However, it's the most logical. I don't want to go to college later, I'm kind of thinking just get it over with, haha.
One of the things I'm dreading most about this trip is being around all of these teenagers. I know that probably sounds ridiculous, but I feel like I've just never fit in anywhere, especially with kids my own age. I never share the same interests or like the same things from music to sports. It probably sounds conceited, but I have always thought that I was more mature than people my own age. I have always gotten along better with people older than me. When I first thought about this trip, all I was thinking was that it was a way to get out of Lowville, NY. I was thinking that I wouldn't have to go to another year of high school here. Somehow I thought that teens in other countries would be more mature and not so... American. I think it's this idea that everything foreign is new and exciting, and therefore better. But I don't think that's true. I think it's the same as anywhere else and we all just want there to be a perfect place so we imagine one somewhere that we have never been. I think that school will be just the same in Italy as it is here. I do think though that there will be more respect for teachers and they do have a lot better of a work ethic. I am just so worried about fitting in. I hate being around teenagers because I feel so awkward and out of place. I never know what to say. I think it's because I want to fit in so badly that I have become so self-conscious that I never say anything. I have to remind myself to just be myself. I think that's a gamble that everyone takes in life. By being yourself you are allowing the other people to decide if they want to like you or not. It's their problem if they don't. It doesn't mean that there is something wrong with you, it just means that people are different. Not everybody can get along."
I wrote this a wile ago before leaving and have rediscovered it. It's funny reading something that you've written a long time ago about the expectations of things to come. Most of what I predicted is true. I still don't really fit in with kids my own age. Teens here are just as "immature", even more so than in America it seems but maybe they are really just different. I don't know. It's just a different way of life. There's things here in Italy that are better for me in America but there are also things that are worse. But I think it would be like that anywhere you go. I fit in well with my family, for the most part. I spend most of my time around them and have learned to appreciate each one of them for who they are. I've learned that not everything is perfect and sometimes you just have to make things work. There's a point where you need to accept that this is how things are and make them work for you. You can't sit and complain all the time and wait for something to happen. You just have to live in what is happening. I still don't know what I want to do when I come back, but I still have about 6 months to figure it out. I think it will probably be college, but that just sounds so boring. However, it's the most logical. I don't want to go to college later, I'm kind of thinking just get it over with, haha.
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